old memories.

Ok call me crazy or stupid or whatever, but I've gotta get this off my chest. Chris and I were sitting in ihop waiting fora couple of friends when the song Hurt by Christina Agulara came on. Thatt's a hard son to listen to for me because it made me think of my dad and all the feelings came back to me. The guilt, the pain, the what ifs. I just sat there not really able to say or do anything. I think chris sensed something was wrong cause he reached over and grabbed my hand. I din't know how or what to tell him. I just whspered one word. "Dad". I ddin't but I wanted to break down balling my eyes out right there. I jsut felt numb, and helpless. I kept thinking things like "gees it's been four years. you should be over this". and "oh great not again". Am I nuts for thinking this stuff? Should or do I ever get over losing him? It's just weird how I can be fine minute and ready to break down. I keep telling myself It's gonna get easier. Then something like this happens. Is this ok? Am I normal? I'm gonna go spend some time with Chris and talk to him abut all this. Sorry for rambling but it just had to happen.